Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Is This Post Mind-Numbingly Intellectual?

Uh...not as such. But I can't help myself. Iowahawk says, Profs Gone Wild: Extreme Ultimate Spring Break Volume 6 - It's Hot, Tenured, and Out of Control!

Next, the Profs Gone Wild crew hits the hot beaches of Daytona... along with special guest star Snoop Dogg! You won't believe the uncensored academic craziness behind the scenes at the Modern Language Association Jello Shotz Party!

Dave (whispering): Snoop and I just shared some 'special herb' with these profs, and now we've got a bet to see which one will say and do the craziest shit! Keep the video rolling Duane...

Snoop: Hey dog, where you teach?

Professor #1: Michigan... Go Blue! Beat the Buckeye Zionist Tools!

Snoop: Say what you gotta say, bitch.

Professor #1:
The rightwing Zionists want to racialize the Sudan conflict in American terms, as "Arab" versus "black African" because they want to use it to play American domestic politics, and create a rift among African-Americans and Arab-Americans.

Snoop: Damn, that's some crazy ass shiznit. How 'bout you?

Professor #2 (grabbing microphone): I'm Noam from MIT, and I just gotta say that if the
Nuremberg laws were applied, then every post-war American president would have been hanged.

Snoop: Show me some more of that, ho.

Professor #2:
I have often thought that if a rational Fascist dictatorship were to exist, then it would choose the American system.

Snoop: Man, you is one crunk bitch. Where'd you get that pizimped-out Audi?

Professor #2: My daddy bought it for me.
Under capitalism, we can't have democracy by definition. Capitalism is a system in which the central institutions of society are in principle under autocratic control. Wanna see my tenure? It's completely shaved!

Snoop: That's some badonka donk, know what I'm sayn'? What up witchu, girl?

Professor #3: I'm
Bernadine from Northwestern, and I like to say hi to my boyfriend Bomber back at UIC in Chicago.

Snoop: Show me you got your freak goin' on, woman.

Professor #3: I just want to say that
Dig It. First the Manson family killed those pigs, then they ate dinner in the same room with them, they even shoved a fork into a victim's stomach! Wild!

Dave: I think we have a winner, Snoop!

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