Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Mothers Depicted As Sexual Beings On Virginia Campus; Nation Shocked And In Mourning

Norfolk, VA

Four members of the Old Dominion University student body were publicly executed and their corpses summarily expelled from the school when it was discovered the students had callously and deliberately played the song “Stacy’s Mom” at a Opening Week Bar-B-Que. The song, written and performed by the terrorist front group Fountains of Wayne, features lewd and indecent lyrics which insist that “Stacy’s mom has got it going on” and depicts the treasured societal icon is a state of undress (“with just a towel on”.)

While the quick and decisive action by the university, which has a solid reputation for graduating only virgins, was applauded by most, some worried there had been undue haste shown. “It all happened so fast we never even had the chance to publicly flog these vile perpetrators!” lamented Sheri Abercrombisen of the student led organization, Aggrieved Sisterhood of Solidarity (or A.S.S.).  A.S.S., best known for their campaign to place trigger warnings on campus for the Sun (“It is so bright and cheerful all the time. Doesn’t it know some of us are really hurting?”) complained other dangerous conduct was going on right under the noses of authorities. “I know for a fact,” said Abercrombisen at a hastily convened news conference attended by 317 journalists, “that another party was playing a Rock Hit’s of the 70’s compilation which included a vile song which depicts a mother having sexual relations on a living room floor, all the while the song repeats that “we’re all all right” when we very clearly are not all all right.”

Ms. Abercrombisen subsequently had to be sedated and placed under a doctor’s care.

At press time Robin Zander was unavailable for comment.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

The Rise Of Anti-Semitism Continues Unabated

Now a Jewish artist cannot perform at a music festival unless he proves he's the "right kind of Jew." -
Jewish groups protest as Spain festival drops US singer

Jewish groups have criticised a Spanish festival for cancelling an appearance by a Jewish-American singer because he refused to air his political views. 
Matisyahu, a reggae singer, had been due to appear at the Rototom Sunsplash near Valencia on 22 August. 
But he says he was asked by organisers to state his "positions on Zionism and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict". 
In a post on his Facebook page, Matisyahu said the pressure to air his views was "appalling and offensive". 
A campaign to cancel Matisyahu's appearance was launched by the Valencia branch of the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) campaign.... 
"The festival kept insisting that I clarify my personal views; which felt like clear pressure to agree with the BDS political agenda," Matisyahu - whose real name is Matthew Miller - wrote on his Facebook page. 
"Honestly it was appalling and offensive, that as the one publicly Jewish-American artist scheduled for the festival they were trying to coerce me into political statements." 
The singer, born in Pennsylvania, said he did not insert politics into his music, and that he wanted it to be accessible to all.
What is equally disgusting is the only groups complaining about this are Jewish ones.

Sadly, I was sort of expecting this kind of Spanish Inquisition.